I gained the skill to turn my true feelings off in an instant, to stop myself from even having them. But I could no longer hide behind forced smiles and my mask of stoicism began to break.

I never wanted to be a smoker, nor a drinker, but by then I was a blossoming alcoholic. Much of who I wanted — or didn’t want — to be before the road had gone out the window during one of those early drives down south.

Adulthood was said to be the next chapter — soon to be highlighted by an exciting high school graduation and eighteenth birthday, but unknowingly close to being inked out by a series of dark, life-altering events.

Which was more important – building a life through achievement and success, or pursuing another fateful encounter for the chance of finally finding love and true connection? And what if there was an offer on the table that could provide both? I’d be crazy not to take it, wouldn’t I?

We aren’t lying to them; we aren’t trying to sell them magazines. There is no such thing as try anyway. We are selling ourselves, so are you worth buying? Are you winning your fucking contest today!?